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When you borrow a figure from another source, you should say something like, "Figure reproduced from " or "Figure reproduced from reference 8" in the figure caption. The transfer of mass between two gravitational wells ." leaves the reader wondering if the actual figure comes from reference 8, or whether reference 8 simply discusses the topic or contains a similar figure which inspired this one.
The sentence "As in any wave-like signal, a gravitational wave has a characteristic frequency and amplitude" conveys little information.
Worse, it interrupts the train of thought --- the sentences before and after really need to go together. If a wave "chirps," it can't be described by a single frequency or amplitude.
Remember, there is no one correct way to say anything.
There is no one correct way to order or word your paper. And, in most cases, there is only one way to spell a given word!
A good one or two sentence thesis statement is needed before they end their introduction. "In this paper we will describe five types of gravitational wave sources: orbiting masses, coalescence, mass transfer, ...
, as well as several proposed methods of gravity wave detection."Notice how the descriptions of the various means of generating gravity waves are presented in a nice orderly way. This part of the paper flows very well --- you learn a lot of information without expending much time or effort to read or understand it.I'm really hoping that you will provide me with some better examples this semester!Also note that the style and formatting of these papers don't conform to the standards we are using this semester.These are some of the better papers that have been handed in in past semesters.Note, however, that these papers are far from perfect.Remember not to feel too bad if a fellow student, Writing Fellow, or professor has a large number of "negative" comments on a paper you think of as being nearly perfect. If you've never spent much time listening to the symphony, not only will you have a tough time playing classical music well, you probably will have a hard time even knowing if you sound well.Since the purpose of your paper is to convey information to other people, other people's opinions of your work matter!Furthermore, when you quote a recognized expert, it adds a certain assurance that what you are describing is not nonsense. It is related to what they are discussing, but is long and goes into more detail than the rest of their discussion.It is nothing too impressive, and I think that they could have paraphrased it and said it better!Have other's read your paper, and listen to their comments.Accepting criticism is not easy, but it's the only way to learn to write.