College Admissions Essay Example

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In broader terms, however, all college admissions essays must accomplish a specific task: the admissions folks will be looking not just for good writing skills, but also evidence that the writer has the intellectual curiosity, open-mindedness, and strength of character necessary to be a contributing and successful member of the campus community. Also, the allusion to John Lennon's "Give Peace a Chance" is appropriate given the song's message about acceptance and understanding.

It's not a title that is highly original, and it isn't the best hook for grabbing the reader's attention, but it is still a solid title.

Carrie clearly shows how she will add an interesting and desirable element to the campus community.

The essay demonstrates that she has thought about identity and diversity, that she is open-minded, and that she has a thing or two to teach others about their preconceptions and biases.

The quality of the writing in this essay is superb, and it is even more impressive because Carrie is going into the sciences, not the humanities where we might expect to see stronger writing.

The essay has no grammatical errors, and some of the short, punchy phrases reveal a high level of rhetorical sophistication.She weaves in enough details about her passions and accomplishments to debunk any knee-jerk assumptions a reader might make about a Goth.The "share your story" essay prompt is wonderfully broad, and it can lead to a range of topics.An essay on one's love of crafts to one's non-traditional home situation can all work with Common Application option #1.Carrie's essay approaches her topic seriously, but it also has a pleasing smattering of humor.The essay has a level of maturity and self-confidence that the reader will find attractive.Also, the reader is likely to be impressed by the way that Carrie imagines her audience's reaction.Little phrases like "I don't do sun," and, "a tendency towards sarcasm" capture Carrie's personality in an economical manner that will also get a nice chuckle from her readers.In general, the essay has a great balance of seriousness and playfulness, of quirkiness and intellect.She has clearly encountered prejudice before, and she preempts it when she imagines the admissions folks reading her essay.The current Common Application essay option #1 is a smart choice for Carrie's topic, for the essay certainly is about a central part of her identity.


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